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Really Funny Jokes

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Really funny jokes-Golden wedding anniversary

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

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"http://www.truehealth.com/landing/ultcholesterol/index.asp?SC=TEZ2909C"

ARE THEY REALLY GOING FOR FITNESS
IF SO THEY SHOULD CLIMB THE STAIRS UP

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TOP TEN HEART HEALERS
Provided by Prevention New plant compounds in these healthy, cholesterol-lowering foods slash your risk of heart disease by 20 percent. What to buy and how to eat them.Make room in your pantry for a new batch of disease-fighting products: foods fortified with sterols and stanols, plant compounds proven to protect your heart. Sterols and stanols are found naturally in fruits, vegetables, nuts, and oils. Adding 2 g of either to your daily diet can help lower your total cholesterol by about 10%--often within 2 weeks, according to numerous studies published in both American and European medical journals. That may not sound like a substantial reduction, but it could translate to a 20% lower risk of heart disease--which is the number one killer in the United States, says Joseph Keenan, MD, a professor of family medicine and a joint professor of food science and nutrition at the University of Minnesota.Our primer will help you better understand how these unique compounds work, how they can protect your health, and the easiest way to incorporate them into your diet. Why They're Making NewsFor more than 5 decades, scientists have known about the health benefits of these compounds, but natural foods don't provide a high enough concentration to budge your cholesterol. (A tablespoon of corn oil, the best natural source, has only 0.13 g of sterols; that's a long way to go to reach the recommended 2 g a day.) But in the 1980s, Finnish chemists found a way to extract the sterols and stanols from plants and add them to the fat in foods. These new compounds, called sterol and stanol esters, first cropped up in margarine-type spreads in 2000. Today, new technology allows researchers to extract them from different plants and fortify more foods--such as cheese, orange juice, breads, and milk. Popular sterol brands you'll find in foods include Cardio-Aid (made by food manufacturer Archer Daniels Midland) and Coro-Wise (made by Cargill). By next year, global market researchers predict sterol-fortified products will be a $250 million industry, nearly three times what it was when such products first hit supermarket shelves. How Do They Work?Plant sterols and stanols act very much like cholesterol itself: Soft and waxy, they serve as building blocks for hormones, vitamins, and cell walls. These structural similarities give them their cholesterol-lowering capabilities. As sterols travel through the digestive tract, they compete with cholesterol, so some of the sterols are absorbed into the bloodstream instead of artery-clogging cholesterol. The bonus: Studies show that sterols that sterols and stanols don't affect artery-protecting HDL cholesterol. Who Needs Them?Sterols are most helpful when your cholesterol levels are slightly high (200 to 239 total cholesterol, 130 to 159 LDL). If your levels are substantially elevated (240 or higher total, 160 or higher LDL), your doctor will help determine if sterols, cholesterol-lowering medication (statins), or a combination of the two is best. Studies have shown that together, sterols and statins are more effective than taking a double dose of cholesterol-lowering medications, according to a report by researchers at Wageningen University in the Netherlands. They're an especially good choice for avoiding drug side effects. "If one of my patients has a high LDL level but doesn't tolerate statin drugs well, I recommend plant sterols and plenty of fiber," says Arthur Agatston, MD, a preventive cardiologist and an assistant professor of medicine at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. If your cholesterol is healthy (less than 200 total, less than 100 LDL), adding sterols to your diet won't hurt, but the cholesterol reductions will not be as great, says Cyril Kendall, PhD, a research scientist at the University of Toronto who has studied plant sterols for the past 7 years. Who should avoid them?Scientists don't know if sterol- and stanol-fortified foods are safe for pregnant women and children, so it's best if these groups skip them altogether. Also important to note: Initial research indicates that sterols can interfere with the absorption of some carotenoids, such as beta-carotene, which your body uses to make vitamin A. If you eat sterols, include a few servings of vegetables rich in beta-carotene--such as carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, and dark leafy greens--to your diet once or twice a week to compensate, suggests Keenan. Next: Add Heart-Healthy Food to Your Diet
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LIVE TO LOVE ALL

Why Are You Smiling?
By: Joseph J. Mazzella
"Why are you smiling?", my daughter asked me the other day. It was too complicated to answer her right away. I had been lost in thought. I had been thinking about my life and all the blessings that I had been given by God. I was thinking about the first time that I held my daughter in my arms. I was thinking about just recently giving her a driving lesson. I was thinking about all those joyous and priceless moments in between. I was thinking of my two sons who in spite of their handicaps and learning difficulties had taught me more about love, kindness, and bliss than I could ever have hoped to learn on my own. I was thinking about my family and friends and about all the joyful support they had given me over the years. They had helped me to grow into the person I am now.
I was thinking too about how wonderful it had been to grow up in these mountains of my home. Their natural beauty had touched my soul daily. I was thinking as well about how delightful it had been to have so many dogs and cats all through my life. Their love so freely given was a constant source of joy for me. I was thinking most of all, however, about how much God must love all of us to bless us with so many opportunities to choose love and share joy in this life. I was thinking about all of these things so naturally my face and soul were smiling.
Life is so wonderful. Life is so beautiful. Life is such a glorious gift from God. It is full to overflowing with people to love, wonders to enjoy, and good things to do. Even its most painful moments and most difficult times can lead us to greater growth, learning, love, and oneness with God if we let them. Be thankful for all the blessings God gives you in this life. Think of them often. Let them fill your heart, mind, and soul.And then when people ask you why you are smiling all the time, you will know what to say.

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICNE: pet informations

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICNE: pet informations